20031120 What's the worst date you've ever been on?

I've gone on surprisingly few pre-Relationship dates per se and I can't recall any of them being particularly unpleasant, unless you count two young Christians going to see Silence of The Lambs with no idea what it was about (we nearly broke each other's hands and were both so traumatized we agreed to never again speak of the event or even to each other).

But you are looking for a good story. So as not to disappoint, let's bend the definition of date to include an evening out with one's partner. Then, there is no contest: the time we had a no-holds-barred food fight in an otherwise happy Greek family restaurant that I frequented (it was next door to where I worked). Not just here's some pudding up your nose. Okay, that's how it started. I was not the instigator—but we were deadlocked in one of our endless supply of arguments, and outrage prevailed: backing down was not an option. I responded with a big gooshy smear of chocolate across the face, as I recall—out of character, but necessary. A volley of bread and olives followed. It escalated to the remains of our salads and over-sized entrees, our beverages, and an entire dinner borrowed from a nearby table (the dozen or so patrons in our half of the building had cleared out a moment before, for their own safety).