19980101 Strategy for a precocious child

Or, How to Get What You Want in 6 Easy Steps:

1. Listen: Understand what a person feels and what they want. Listen to the meaning, not just exactly what is said. Language is more than words strung together. If you respond to what a person means, they will appreciate you for being perceptive. If you use semantics against them, they will become surly and less likely to care about what you feel and want.

2. Ask: If at first, the answer is no, go away and decide how important it is to you.

3. Negotiate: If it is really important, think of a better way to ask, and what you can possibly offer in return. Find some common ground where you can fit what you feel and want with what the other person feels and wants. If the deal is successful, deliver cheerfully on the promises you made. If the negotiations do not go well, let it rest, then revisit the matter on another day if you really feel strongly about it. A mild tone of voice works best. Save the screaming for sports events and roller coasters.

4. Respect: If you respect someone's wishes, they are likely to respect yours. Conversely, if you run against their wishes, they will feel free to run against yours.

5. Learn: If someone has more experience or information than you do, be willing to listen and adjust your expectations and actions accordingly. Do not presume you know everything. In fact, the the wisest people in the world are those who realize just how little they know.

6. Invest: Create goodwill by being friendly, trustworthy, cooperative, and generous. You will reap many dividends later.